Aku mencarimu, Tuhanku
Di antara baris-baris aksara ini
Yang menggumpalkan merah hitam nikmatMu
Yang menghitungkan segala ciptaanMu
Selembar demi selembar
Aku menzikirkan semua kurniaan ini
Setiap selirat sungaian rahmat
Setiap tandan buahan lazat
Deru luruhnya menggunung ranum
Manis nikmat menguntum senyum
Nah, ternyatalah
Setiap baris dan lajur
Yang terbentang luas ini
Tiada tercukup untuk mengira setiap rezeki
Tiada terangkum acap syukur kami.
On the Shittiest Boss in Kuala Lumpur
I was in my favourite bookshop in Kuala Lumpur yesterday, sitting in my usual spot at the staircase and browsing for books. (I eventually got myself a copy of Boccaccio’s Decameron, thanks for asking hehe.) As I was browsing, I spied at the corner of my eye, someone who used to be the boss of a friend of mine. My friend had related his travails of working for this man – the shenanigans, the tantrums, the late salary payments. I pretended not to see him, which was not that difficult, since I didn’t really know this man – only that he was a terrible boss.
Not long after, I got up and made my way to the cash register, paid for my book, and walked upstairs to the cafe where my wife was sitting, drinking water while going through her own reading.
I saw down and immediately said, “Hey, guess who I saw!”
“Who??” Kat looked at me quizzically.
“I just saw the shittiest boss in KL, just browsing for books!”
“Wow! So **** is here looking for books??” Kat asked, her brows furrowed.
“Err, nope. Not him. Guess lah. I’ll give you another guess!” I said, enjoying this little game.
“Hmm. Ah, I know! You saw ****!!” Kat made her declaration with gusto, utterly convinced that she was right this time around.
I frowned for a while and said, “Wow! Hmm you are right, that person really is a shitty boss!! Wah this is rather stiff competition! You might be right, she might be the shittiest boss in all of Kuala Lumpur! But no, it wasn’t her that I saw.” I shook my head in denial, even as I was marveling over the fact that it really was stiff competition.
“Oh, I don’t know! Who is it???” By this time, Kat’s curiosity was really piqued. She needed to know.
“Haha it’s **** lah! Remember??” It was Kat, after all, who was regaling me with stories of this man’s horrific treatment of our friend.
Kat laughed out loud and said, “Oh yes, haha yes he really is a terrible boss! But you must admit though, **** really is a terrible boss herself! In fact, I think the margin is pretty thin between the two!”
I laughed along, nodding my head in agreement with my wife. I suppose there are quite a number of shitty bosses out there!
On Avoidance
I don't want to see you for coffee,
or lunch,
or whenever.
I find you tiresome,
clichéd,
forced.
But I admire your persistence,
though.
Looking forward to your next text message,
which will sadly remain
unread,
unanswered,
unloved.
Tentang Merewang
Pening serabut
Minda senggugut
Semuanya kalut
Otak di lutut
Masa terbuang
Bincang bercabang
Kata merewang
Hasilnya kurang
Asyik berlafzi
Lazat sendiri
Pulang berlari
Masa merugi.
On Work as Identity
We live in an age where “meritocracy” is an accepted coin of the realm. Many of us believe that the just desserts of life – success, money, prosperity – rightly go to those who are seen to have deserved their rewards through education and hard work.
Unlike medieval times, when social roles are assigned to us at birth, and social mobility is limited to a lucky few, or only in rare times of unexpected social upheaval, we take it almost for granted that our rise and fall are something that we deserve to get out of our own efforts.
It is only in the past decade or so, in the aftermath of the global financial crisis and the travails of younger members of society, struggling to afford their own homes or earn a decent salary, that we begin to see that the modern regime of meritocracy can be a facade that disguises the many ways in which privilege can still decide the outcomes of many lives in our society.
We no longer live in an age where a moneyed class can inherit all their wealth, and enjoy lives of dissipated leisure. But it is still true that wealth can afford the best education, afford backdoor access into the best universities through benefactions and alumni networks, afford hard-fought slots in corporate internships that lead to high-flying jobs, and afford the rising costs of healthcare and old age living. It is still true that poverty can keep too many of us in chains which are very hard to break, dragging the unfortunate ones down in poorly-funded schools, in ravaged neighhbourhoods, in crime and in constant lack of economic security.
For those few who are lucky enough to have risen through the gates of meritocracy – succeeding in public school examinations, matriculating into the best universities, making it into high-paying elite jobs – it is easy to come to identify oneself primarily with one’s signal achievements in school and at work.
For many years, it mattered to me what the words on my business card would say, the validation of being in a high-powered role or in a well-respected company. I would even use my business cards as bookmarks, occasionally brandishing them as I am reading, silently glorying in this little piece of existential affirmation, like Gollum and his “precious”.
It took me a while to realise that work is but one facet of a life well lived. Yes, one needs to earn a living, but there is infinitely more to life than a paycheque, or the baubles and possessions that we surround ourselves with through the fruits of our daily work. As Kat would say, you gotta find your own organic interests.
I am also reminded of this quote, from a story told by author Toni Morrison. When she complained to her father about her work, cleaning other people’s homes, her father replied,
“Listen. You don’t live there. You live here. With your people. Go to work. Get your money. And come on home.”
This year, as I am hitting 45, I realise that for many of my peers, this time is the primetime for our economically-earning lives. Some of my friends, people who I used to know in university or in my early years as a fresh graduate, are now Ministers and CEOs, high-flying corporate lawyers and well-respected consultants and bankers. I am not doing too badly myself, but I will freely admit that I had greater expectations for how 45 was going to greet me.
But, like Pip in that Dickensian tale of love and ambition and dashed hopes, I know now that work is but one part of who I am, and I also know now that my mission in these years remaining is to make the most of who I am and what I can be, before I am ready to come on home.
Today’s 3 Things III – Tech Layoffs, Employer Spyware, Private Market Valuations
- Tech companies doing mass layoffs is no longer surprising, but it is jarring to see employers resort to the axe when there is so much evidence out that that points to massive erosion in goodwill, trust and morale when employees are summarily dismissed. And the human cost of it, is so painful and unnecessary. There is always a better way to do this – but too many employers are too scared, or too lazy, to do the right thing.
- So… there’s this thing called employer spyware now, where employers would install software of company computers that would monitor your work activities, figure out if you’ve been spending too much time on Twitter (or, like in my case right now, blogging haha), even monitor your keystrokes. You can even get dismissed from work, with Big Brother software bearing witness against you and lazy-ass ways. Creepy. Should we all be worried now?
- In Warren Buffett’s memorable phrasing, when the tide finally goes out is when you know who has been swimming naked. This has certainly been the case in the past few months, as central banks ratchet up interest rates and companies find it increasingly harder to raise funds. More scrutiny is now being brought to bear in private markets, especially when it comes to asset valuations in PE and VC portfolios. This is not new, of course, but the “funding winter” is certainly shining a light on how real the purported overperformance in private markets really is.
Today’s Reads XII – Hyperloop, Hybrid Work, and Parenting
- Hyperloop: sexy idea, but too many technical hurdles, and uncertain economics, look to doom the dream of frictionless underground transit.
- “Hybrid work might represent the best of both worlds.” But are the bosses listening?
- “Anger is usually just sadness with nowhere to go.” A heartbreaking read about what it means to be a single mother, raising a boy, when everyday feels like a struggle.
Three Things I am Thinking about Today #4
- Turkey threatens to buy new missile system from Russia: is this the beginning of the end for Turkey’s membership of NATO? And will this lead to even sharper realignment of global geopolitics?
- The third MRT line’s alignment has been finalised and awaiting approval. I hope we do get this 3rd line done: Kuala Lumpur needs to step back from the brink of urban car congestion, and embrace more active modes of mobility. The alternative is unsustainable.
- Like many of my generation, I have pegged a lot of my self-esteem and self-worth to my work. This is a good reminder that there is so much more to living than just what I do for a living.