On Waking Up

Some fine morning 
You will wake up
Like from a dream
And realise that
All the trappings of your life
   That nice condo
   The fast cars
   The fancy things
Never really mattered
And what you thought was important
   That big job
   That bold business card
   The numbers you had to hit
They were mere details
Necessary perhaps, at some point
But never truly sufficient
And what really mattered was
   How you were loved
   How you loved in return
   The blessings you had
   And how you showed gratitude for those blessings
I pray we wake up soon
I pray for me, and for you.

On Baharis

I barely knew you
And I knew almost nothing of
When and how you were born
Or who your parents were
Or how you got here
Or how you found yourself being
A young bride in a strange land
Surrounded on all sides
By people who did not love you
And did not care that you were barely loved

I barely knew your life
But I know that in the young years
Of my own life
You loved me with the fierce tenderness
Of a lioness, claws and all

Maybe they never loved you
But you had love abundant
Your love, transcendant
For me, for us

On This Teahouse (Amiability)

I have come so far 
And it is only forty years later
That I can now feel
The inexorable
inviolable
inescapable pull of gravity
Anchoring me here
In amiable exile

I have everything I need
Here
Except for the buried treasure
Of finally seeing myself
And loving myself
With fullest acceptance.

On Waiting

"I thought I had already worked it out, you know
I've confronted the whole idea of
Him
And I've figured it all out
I did all that inner child work
And I'm free to choose my own path now
But I still cannot find it in me
To forgive him"

(And maybe forgive myself)

"Well, maybe that child is still waiting
Waiting
For his daddy to come home."


(And that broke me
Broke me again and shattered me into a million shards.)

On Living Every Day

Wake up
Pray and mandi
Call Grab
Have breakfast and coffee
Write my reflections

Take the train to the office
Work
Check Instagram
Work 
Pray
Work
Eat lunch (sometimes)
Work some more
Pray
Pack up

Take the train home
Close my Move loop in the mall
Eat dinner (sometimes)
Pray
Read (or watch Netflix)
Mandi and pray
Turn off the lights and close my eyes and think about Jah and Life and where am I going and what does it all mean and am I doing this right and how am I going to get through tomorrow and. 

Inspired by Ted Berrigan's 10 things I do every day

On Letting Go and Letting God

Let go and let God have His way with you
Trust in His magnum Grace and guidance true.
Days like these it feels like Life ain't playing
Fair, and cheers have turned to jeers and braying.
But know that your Lord cares for you and loves
You, and in your hardship, know that His troves
of treasure wait whom hold onto His rope
Steadfast, never falt'ring in Faith and Hope
For his benediction. Just do your thing:
The redemption you prayed for, He will bring. 

Inspired by PJ Morton's "Let Go (feat. The Walls Group)" from his The Piano Album