Aku mau hidup yang bermaruah Bukannya takut hidup susah Cuma mau bisa berdiri tegap Aku tak mau merasa malu atau gagap Bila umur mula menjangkau senja Dan nyawa mamai dimamah usia Aku tak mau merasa ini semua sia-sia Dan aku tak mau pula berselindung dusta Tak mau bertongkat pada kisah olokan Yang membungkam indera dan perasaan Aku tak perlu tangis kasihan Apatah lagi bengis hukuman Tak perlu engkau menghitung budi Cukuplah aku menghukum diri Aku mau merasakan segalanya Sedih gembira perit bahagia Juga rasa malu dan bangga Segala nikmat serta sengsara Semuanya terkandung dalam Aku Insan yang bergantung penuh pada-Mu Aku mau mati yang bermaruah Ertinya tiada takut menyerah Setiap jiwa pasti merasa Masa yang tentu pastinya tiba Bila umur genap selesai Aku pulang mengharap damai.
Tentang Fitrah
Aku diajar tentang Fitrah
Tentang naluri teras ciptaan
Yang terukur teratur indah
Jadi batu asas sang Insan
Mereka diajar tentang Fitrah
Kalau lelaki begini jadinya
Kalau perempuan begitu pula
Semuanya lazim mengikut lumrah
Kita diajar tentang Fitrah
Seolah insan wataknya mudah -
Kalau lelaki: ketua keluarga
Kalau perempuan: dapur tempatnya
Kalau lelaki: jadi pemimpin
Kalau wanita: menyalin lampin
Tugas lelaki: mentadbir buana
Tugas wanita: menggoncang dunia
(Nun jauh rantai asbabnya
Kononnya buaian mencerna kuasa)
Ini ajarku perihal Fitrah:
Setiap insan pelbagai lumrah
Maksud Adil penuh ma’rifat
Setiap sesuatu terletak tepat
Kalau Rafidah: jadilah Menteri
Jangan disorok tepi perigi
Kalau Zeti: jadilah Gubenur
Pasti iktisad cantik teratur
Kalau Jemilah: jadilah Doktor
Harum nama negara masyhur
Ini hakikat ertinya Fitrah:
Setiap insan dicipta Allah
Lengkap kamil dengan cirinya
Setiap seorang tiada sama
Tanda hormat sesama insan:
Mengukur kain pada sang badan
Tinggi budi tinggilah maqam
Itulah janji Allah Yang Akram!
On Cussing
One of the most difficult things that I had to get used to, when I first came up to boarding school in Melaka, was the cussing. It was not just that it was casual – friends would greet each other by the side of the road with “Woi, sial! Lama tak nampak!”, faces beaming – but that it was constant and unthinking. Everyday, everywhere, all at once, you could hear a chorus of Babi and Lahanat and Celaka in a hundred parallel conversations at any given moment.
Cussing was a big part of the culture – the price of admission to be part of the tribe.
I remember one afternoon, a couple of us played a stupid parlour game to see who can let out the longest unbroken stream of expletives, like a string of polished pearls of excrement – gleeful wannabe rappers with a bad case of Tourette’s, going babikaulahanatcelakapukimakpantatlancaucibaimakkau! at the utmost top of our voices.
Swearing as an art form: we were incorrigible.
Not long after boarding school, when I went overseas for A-Levels, I became the unfortunate existential trial that God inflicted on my pious, budak-sekolah-agama housemate. He would wince at every profanity that came out of my foul mouth. Certainly he was too polite to tell me off, so I had to find out from someone else that he was seriously considering moving to another house to get away from my baleful influence. Of course, I found this mortifying – I thought of myself as a good boy, and my housemate was such a gentle soul that the very thought of him moving out, because of my cussing, was a painful thought.
I cleaned up my act, and my potty mouth, pretty quickly.
On Becoming a Person ( or A Book Review of Carl Rogers’ 1961 Classic Book on Psychotherapy)
This classic book by Carl Rogers, first published in 1961, will likely be the most important book I read this year.
Useful and enlightening, Carl Rogers’ approach to psychotherapy resonates with what I believe to be my own take on life: that humans are deeply unique, and that one of our most primary tasks in Life is to give full expression and flowering to the most singular and delightful aspects of our human existence.
Unlike other luminaries of psychotherapy such as Freud and Jung, Rogers believed in a far more grounded and almost ridiculously basic approach to therapy: that the primary responsibility of the therapist is to provide a safe and confidential space for persons to learn to listen to themselves, and to fully experience the entire spectrum of their emotions. His belief was that when patients rediscover what it means to become and be themselves, they will learn that they already have the resources within themselves to recover their own dignity and self-worth.
Most importantly: Rogers walks the talk. Through his flowing and honest prose, the reader gets a sense of who he is – humble, curious, empowering, democratic, authentic, sincere, perhaps even a touch naive.
Rogers also brought two novel approaches to psychotherapy. The first was his conviction that the efficacy and usefulness of what he called “client-centred therapy” or “person-centred approach” could be proven scientifically, through rigorous experiments which were carefully documented and published in the leading psychology journals of his day. His other innovation, which was to grow to become a leading preoccupation for him in his later years, was that the basic principles of his approach to psychotherapy had real and vital applications in fields far beyond the therapist’s room: in the classroom, amongst married couples, and even in the drawing rooms and conference halls of high diplomacy. He was certain that the greatest problems of his age could be solved by an appeal to the fundamentals of human creativity and decency.
Most importantly, from my point of view, his perspective on human communications suggests that we already have the tools we need to form a better life for ourselves:
- The faith that every single human being is, at their core, a decent and dignified human being, and that rediscovering that core humanity requires us to actively work towards listening to and understanding ourselves and others.
- The courage to be sincere with how we feel, at any given moment, and to embrace the implications of those emotions in how we deal with others.
- The curiosity to truly listen to what others have to say, to fully experience the words and the tone and the music with which others communicate themselves to us.
- The commitment to constantly work towards becoming better versions of who we are, to lean into our self-knowledge and self-understanding and bring ourselves to the fullest flowering of our unique and indivisible selves.
Some books come along at the moment when you most need them. Reading this book gave me further validation that the way I see the world is a way that could work well, and I finished the book with the hope that here was a roadmap that I could walk in my every day to become a better person.
In other words, this was a 5-star read that I would highly highly recommend to anyone interested in an engaging and coherent approach towards living a Good Life.
On the Friday Khutbah
For years, I had made it a point to drive some distance away from my workplace in order to attend Friday prayers at ISTAC – an outpost of the International Islamic University Malaysia, where the khutbahs are delivered in English, and (for most of the time) the sermons are prepared and delivered in person by a member of the academic staff of ISTAC, rather than the usual regurgitation of the bland and inane texts provided by our esteemed religious bureaucracies.
I finally gave up the ghost some months back, after realising that even in that intellectual oasis, the government-sanctioned text has begun to rear its rather boring head. To be fair, there were still many occasions when the sermons were prepared and delivered by ISTAC academic staff – as a treat, sometimes ISTAC would even open its khutbah platform to external speakers. On one memorable occasion, an Australian Uyghur preacher was invited to speak, and he gave such an impassioned sermon on the plight of his fellow Uyghur brothers and sisters, that many of us were moved to tears. (Needless to say, there are no tears involved when it comes to the usual gomen sermons – most of the jama’ah would be busy trying to stay awake, instead.) But recently, more often than not, the officially-approved text would be delivered, and in the usual tones: either the typical uninvolved drone of the bored state-employed imam, or the declamatory faux-politician style of the wannabe celebrity preacher.
So recently, as I started reading Khaled Abou El Fadl’s excellent compilation of his Friday khutbahs, I was reminded of how the subordination of Muslim scholars to the needs and wants of the State has truly led to the current sorry state of the intellectual stagnation and sheepification of the Muslim ummah. With the excuse of trying to prevent the politicisation of our masjids, our religious apparatchiks have rather succeeded also in preventing any sort of enlightenment for the ummah on these weekly occasions when we would gather as one people, down our tools and close our shops, to attend the masjid and glorify His Name.
I can only take solace from the hope that, with the Friday sermon forever entrenched as a core pillar of the Muslim experience, the time might come, one day, when these moments of gathering would rise from their current sordid state to become what they were in the time of the Prophet Muhammad: a constant madrasah for the education and edification of the Muslim ummah.
On Corporate Responsibility
When I graduated, and started my first job in a Fortune 500 oil & gas company (yup, that one lah, mana lagi?) the idea of shareholder value was all the rage. My company had even hired the folks at Stern Stewart & Co to teach our managers the concepts behind Economic Value Added. GE’s Jack Welch was the hotshot corporate hero of the late 1990s / early 2000s, and his book taught us the value of being No. 1 or No. 2, stack-ranking your folks as A, B or C players, and the virtues of being a larger-than-life CEO.
Fast forward 20 years later, and the landscape of corporate thinking has certainly turned a tide. The Global Financial Crisis in 2008 has forced a radical rethinking of business ethics. Milton Friedman’s mantra of shareholder value has given way to a more comprehensive idea of corporate responsibility. We are now told that a balanced approach to business – honoring not only shareholders but others who also lay claim to the corporation – can actually generate value. The Covid-19 pandemic has forced another radical shift, this time amongst workers who begin to question the meaning of work (although it has been pointed out that this is something every generation needs to negotiate in its own time.)
Of course, a signal example of how thinking around corporate values has shifted is the reputation of Jack Welch, that lion of Corporate America. When he retired, the succession of Jeff Immelt was seen as the culmination of a rigorous, almost scientific approach to succession planning. Can the Next Guy emulate the great Jack Welch? It turns out, as William Cohan writes in his latest book, that Jeff Immelt’s career as CEO of GE ended being a long and costly exercise in unwinding the mess that Neutron Jack had left him. Costly, especially because Jeff Immelt ultimately lost the confidence of his shareholders, and lost his job as CEO.
Today, GE is on its way to being split into three entities (much like how our own Sime Darby has been split into plantations, property and motor businesses).
I would not be surprised if, decades from now, the wheels of corporate fads turn yet again, and another generation re-discovers the urgency of putting shareholders first (or solely) in the eyes of the corporation.
(I would also not be surprised if, decades from now, some enterprising investment bank decides that it would be a neat idea to merge the Baby GEs and the Baby Simes back together again. Show me the money!!!)
For now (and personally I hope for some time to come) we can and ought to insist that our corporations remain tethered to the human values that make up the community of people who work for and derive value from our corporations – values of decency, respect, and shared prosperity.
Tentang Hidup Seorang Melayu Borjuis
Aku selalu bingung.
Aku diajar untuk patuh taat. Ikut perintah ayah. Ikut perintah mak. Ikut perintah guru. Patuh arahan loceng sekolah, patuh pengawas, patuh peraturan sekolah.
Aku ikut. Patuh. Belajar rajin-rajin. Masuk universiti. Dapat degree. Kerja keras. Beli kereta. Beli rumah. Kawin. Dapat anak. Dapat kenaikan pangkat. Kalau untung, dapat gelar Datuk, gelar Tan Sri.
Patuh arahan lampu isyarat, patuh undang-undang, patuh saranan Kerajaan.
Semuanya aku ikut. Jadi kenapa aku masih rasa bingung? Kenapa aku selalu rasa ada benda yang memulas dalam perut, memulas dalam kepala, katanya kenapakausiniapakaunaksiapaengkauapamaksudsemuaini?
On Humaning
We were walking through the throngs of shopping mall patrons, side-stepping wayward jaywalkers like a crazed penguin computer game, trying not to bump into daydreaming children and their dazed parents.
From behind us, a toddler was bawling her brains out, desperate screams piercing through the mall muzak. Seconds later, we noticed the mother walking briskly past us, her right hand firmly clasped around her child. The kid must have been around three years old, thrashing around in her mother’s arms as she was being carried like an unruly roll of carpet, limbs a-flailing in time with her wailing.
“Parenting is hard,” Kat noted as we saw the mother rush through the crowd. The mother was struggling to keep her game face on, grimly marching forward as onlookers stared at her carrying her banshee child through the mall.
“Humaning is hard,” I said.
“Amen.”
On Valentine’s Day (My Love, in the Spirit of John Donne)
Roses are red, violets are blue: 'til God strikes me dead, even thence, I'll love you. For my Love is no casual fling, it throbs and thrives, a-flowering, a prayer in the dark of night, a gust of air 'neath birds in flight. My Love doth sing in hushed tones, in tender words it soothes my bones, it calls to you, in sweetest praise, it rises with your morning gaze. My Love flees not the growling seas, it stays, it braves, my Love and me. Undaunted by Life's rough travails, My Love, amidst it all, prevails. So when they praise the reddest Rose, and when they mark the Violet blue - The angels themselves will propose That Our Love be forever True.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my one True Love <3
On Climate Change and Human Survival
A few months ago, I was reading Steve Brusatte’s excellent The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs, and it dawned to me that perhaps we are going about this business of climate change all wrong.
We are told that we need to be responsible, to protect Mother Nature. That we need to take pollution down to zero, for the sake of the Planet. That we can all play a role to help save the Environment.
But what if the real ones we need to save are… ourselves?
Think about it: even in the aftermath of that deadly meteorite crash that put an end to the age of the dinosaurs, Life still prevailed. The dinosaurs went extinct, and the mammals – small enough and plucky enough to survive the devastation – came into their own.
Species come and go, but Life itself is resilient enough to survive cataclysm.
So if we persist in how we live, and how we consume resources on this planet, what will likely occur is that surface temperatures and sea levels will rise to the point when human habitation will be deleteriously affected. Like the dinosaurs, we might not survive the fire next time. But Life as we know it is a complex and resilient thing. If Humanity were to work ourselves out of the existence, some other species will likely take our place.
O believers! Whoever among you abandons their faith, Allah will replace them with others who love Him and are loved by Him. [Q5:54]
The Planet will take care of itself. We need to look out for our own survival – as a species.