Month: November 2023

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Tentang Perjuangan Cekal

Ayuh, mu’minin, berjuanglah!

Dua puluh yang cekal 
Mampu menawan dua ratus 
Dan seratus yang cekal 
Mampu menawan seribu yang kafir bebal!

Dan Tuhan telah meringankan beban 
Kerana Dia Tahu engkau berkelemahan 

Maka seratus yang cekal
Mampu menawan dua ratus 
Dan seribu yang cekal 
Mampu menawan dua ribu 
Dengan izin Allah ‘Azza wa Jall 

Kerana Tuhan senantiasa bersama 
Para mu’min yang cekal tawakkal! 

Terilham oleh Q8: Al Anfal 65-66
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On Waiting

"I thought I had already worked it out, you know
I've confronted the whole idea of
Him
And I've figured it all out
I did all that inner child work
And I'm free to choose my own path now
But I still cannot find it in me
To forgive him"

(And maybe forgive myself)

"Well, maybe that child is still waiting
Waiting
For his daddy to come home."

(And that broke me
Broke me again and shattered me into a million shards.)
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On Living Every Day

Wake up
Pray and mandi
Call Grab
Have breakfast and coffee
Write my reflections

Take the train to the office
Work
Check Instagram
Work 
Pray
Work
Eat lunch (sometimes)
Work some more
Pray
Pack up

Take the train home
Close my Move loop in the mall
Eat dinner (sometimes)
Pray
Read (or watch Netflix)
Mandi and pray
Turn off the lights and close my eyes and think about Jah and Life and where am I going and what does it all mean and am I doing this right and how am I going to get through tomorrow and. 

Inspired by Ted Berrigan's 10 things I do every day
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On Male Friendships

The so-called “battle of the sexes” has been going on since time immemorial: frequent fodder for religious zealots and stand-up comedians and other chroniclers and observers of the human condition.

But one area in which ladies have surely had the upper hand against the supposedly more stoic sex must surely be in the realm of friendships. Unlike ladies, men continue to labour under the expectation that they need to be “strong”, to “suck it up”. We are expected to march into battle, “game face” on, showing no mercy and taking no prisoners. “Vulnerability” is considered verboten: a luxury that only ladies can indulge in, whereas the men are expected to “man up” and get on with the job.

The tides are changing, though. Nowadays, the concept of “mental health” has gone mainstream, and leaders are counseled to be more “open”. Collaboration and consultation are seen nowadays as competitive imperatives in a global economy that prizes knowledge and the rapid dissemination and sharing of ideas. Years ago it was still considered strange for men to follow in the footsteps of Tony Soprano and “seek help” – today, more and more men are open to the idea of finding support for mental health.

It is in this vein that I find my more recent conversations with male friends becoming more meaningful and satisfying. Perhaps not yet in the confines of the boardroom or the locker room, but I find that in the relative safety of one-on-one conversations over coffee, more and more of my male friends are willing to open up, to share their recent challenges and frustrations and dilemmas.

A lot of things need to fall in place, for this magic to happen: a willingness to share, and to open up. Empathy for each other’s point of view. A shared understanding of each other’s contexts in terms of work or marriage or social situation. Mutual respect for the lives that we lead, and the choices that we have made. Trust that the conversations would remain confidential.

It’s not always easy to get here, but when it happens, I feel the friendship climbing to a new level of meaningfulness. The relationship feels a bit less superficial or transactional, and a bit more real. Life itself feels a bit less lonely, that bit more manageable.

We are still miles behind the ladies when it comes to being able to share and support each other. But we are catching up. I can see it in my own friendships, and I feel truly grateful for this.